• The unsuspecting rickshaw walah who moves diligently in the left lane can any time stick his hand out and take a 90 degree turn right in middle of the road. No matter whether you are on a scooter, car speeding at 90 or even a truck, he trusts your judgement.He knows you will save him( and then save yourself!!
  • Rule 1: The road belongs to the rickshawwalah, its you who will have to break.
  • Corollary: Its your responsibility to save him, he has a family to look after.
  • Never mess with a cow.Its always advisable to slow down and take it around her. Our holy cow is the most peaceful and calm creature on earth, so Honking will do you no good.
  • Rule 2: The road belongs to the cow,left, right or middle, its you who will have to budge, not the cow.
  • The man on the motorcycle will find every inch of space,in between the cars, between the footpath and the buses etc. to go as far ahead as possible(read 2-3 meters) on a red light.
  • Rule 3: Make some space for the motorcyclists on the red light, there are always in a hurry.
  • Corollary(for the motorcyclists): keep moving ahead on a red-light till you actually start seeing it.
  • Don’t abuse the driver if you stick yourself behind an autorickshaw or even deadlier - a Vikram(a deadly blue colored goods auto). Its completely your fault, and your responsibility to speed up and change lanes as soon as possible.(as it is completely beyond their ability).
    • Rule4:As soon as you see an Auto, its time to change lanes.
  • If a car is honking madly behind you, its best to give them the way. 90% chance is that it would be a Gurgaon heading Qualis!
    • Rule 5: Everybody’s in a hurry, except you.
  • Beware of girls driving cars.Its best to not move in their lane. You are doomed if you are behind one in a traffic jam.As much they have outsmarted boys in other fronts, handling the steering is one art in which they still face a lot of difficulty. Typical situations include parking or taking the car out of parking, u-turns, traffic jams etc.
    • Rule 6: When you find no reason why that car isn’t moving, it’s either broken down, or there’s a lady at the wheel.
  • When you are in a car, no matter whether you hit the scooter/rickshaw or the they hit you, You are always the guilty party.
  • Rule7: In an accident, your mistake is exponentially proportional to the number of wheels you are on.
  • Exceptions:If there is a women involved, her party will win by mass sympathy.
  • In an accident, if you are the younger party, there are chances that you will lose always.
  • Rule 8: Young men are , by law, rash drivers.
  • Don’t mess with the buses and the trucks.No matter whether they hit you or you hit them, You are the one who will be hit, and that too badly!
    • Rule 9:Always move a lane clear from the six-wheel monsters.
  • No traffic rules exist as such. They only come into effect after you pay your first challan(the more, the earlier) or as soon as you see a white-blue human being.
  • Rule 10:Traffic rules apply to everybody, except you.
  • A traffic policeman always appears when you have most innocently forgotten to wear your seat-belt or while talking on phone, and that too, when you least expect him too.
  • Rule 11:Everyday on Road, is not your lucky day.
  • Corollary:You can’t beat traffic policemen at ‘Hide n Seek’.
  • Think twice before pressing the pedal on an empty 3-lane road.There are chances that there’s a traffic police jeep at its end.
  • Rule 12: Speed limits only come into play on empty roads.
  • Don’t kick yourself for getting stuck in slower lane.
  • Rule 13(Murphy law):When you are standing in a lane, the other lane always moves faster.
  • Corollary: As soon as you switch lanes, your old lane speeds up.

The final golden rule was put very aptly by my driver when he was teaching me driving:

‘…… on the road, people don’t care about their lives, it’s you who has the responsibility to save them. So Drive safely!….’

( I’m sure you have some other rules as well, enhance this handbook in Public Interest!)

Copyright © 2007 - Vaneet Aggarwal.